I regret having kids. "I had friends who regretted having kids. I regret having responsibilities that stole my mental energy and my physical presence away from my kids. Having another child means that your attention will divide three ways instead of 2. The biggest life regret for many people is having one or more kids. They are my driving force. And crucially, there are geographic differences. I had 3 under 7 (with 2 under 3) and that was hard enough so can relate somewhat. They resented the loss of freedom, the work it takes, the cost. I’m a mother of two. If you have a dilemma Jun 10, 2022 · I Regret Having Children. bobozzo. Some people regret having them (give that a google and it goes on forever). Sep 28, 2016 · It's unthinkable, and it's definitely unspeakable, but women all over the world are coming forward to say it: I regret having my children. Parents with toddlers are sleep deprived and terrorized by their own I regret not having children, heck, not having a wife. People don't tell the truth about most things, I think because so often they are pretending to themselves. The piece May 1, 2024 · When it came to major life events, 16. As told to Charissa Cheong. I know many many of my friends with children feel the same. Jun 1, 2014 · A couple has decided not to have kids, but friends and relatives claim they will regret it. I regret not taking more vacations with my kids. While he's involved as a parent he sometimes lacks patience and can be an angry dad, which he's working on these issues. This sub, like all subs, has a topic. They are both still young. Megan Pagel got married in 2020 and has two Apr 22, 2024 · Seven percent of the respondents with children said zero. Pretty deep. I could not imagine having a kids in my early 20's, I was busy living my life and making myself happy. I already have one of my own. . Here's how to feel more prepared before starting a family. Jul 3, 2014 · Over all, I don’t regret having kids, it’s been great. Feb 9, 2011 · I can safely say you are not alone. If your marriage is bad, kids will make it worse,and they will also pay for it. When you get one thing figured out, they change and find a new way to be challenging. They voted, and they saw the 70% of women who Aug 3, 2019 · Of all the 611 women who ended up not having any children, just over half of them (336, or 51 percent) were undecided at first. Megan Pagel got married in 2020 and has two I think the thing that is totally missing from the "asking parents if they regret having kids" part of this piece, is how old their children are when you're asking this. They changed their minds during their 20s and 30s. Do without. I feel a SEVERE feeling of doom and anxiety when I think about her future. The parents are both jerks and all three kids have lost out because of their selfish behaviour. If you don’t want this pregnancy, get an abortion. 2. Aug 15, 2021 · About one in eight Polish parents regrets having children. The issue I have is with my husband and not the kids. These studies have been small. BooEffinHoo. at SWPS University's Faculty of Psychology and Law and the University of Louvain developed and validated the Parenthood Regret Scale, finding that 5-14 Sep 16, 2019 · Given the glorification of parenthood, it has been taboo to talk about one’s regrets associated with having children. Nov 2, 2021 · One study finds that fathers ages 26 to 62 actually get a happiness boost, while young or single parents suffer the greatest loss. But alas the research has long been in on this one, and abusive parents are a common cause of abusive adults. terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, was a crossroads: “No regrets with regards to my children. If someone chose to not have kids and they regretted it, they would feel pretty silly because they only have their self to blame. “I never get a minute to myself Apr 23, 2024 · April 23, 2024 10:41 AM. The only regret I had about having kids was after September 11 when I Feb 15, 2022 · Numerous respondents revealed regrets relating to family, specifically relating to having children, and the timing of doing so. Some people have a very naive idea about child abuse causing people to turn into more loving and compassionate people, people who scream to the sky “I will do better!”. It was a slow realization, taking years to accept and even more time to consider. If you have a thriving social circle then you will be happy regardless if you have children or not. If you regret having children you ruined someone's life by being a shitty mother and forcing a life onto them that wasn't wanted. Parenting is worth it and wonderful only if you want the child. I regret moments of selfishness when I prioritized my work or a hobby over being at home for them. They told me it was the social expectation to get married and have kids, relatives pressured them into it and I guess they didn't have the strength to do what they wanted. Sometimes, a child is better raised by somebody else. I'm tired just thinking about this. From environmental anxiety to generational trauma, from autism to abuse, they express their complex and valid feelings about motherhood. Also the same people you see screaming at their kids in the grocery store. If I ever wanted kids, I’d just adopt one that’s not in the 10 and below range. One simply wrote that 'having children' at all was their biggest regret. 22,000!!!! People submit anonymous posts bating their souls on the very taboo subject of regretting parenthood. Now at 50 I’m just getting my life in order. TO SUBMIT YOUR STORY ANONYMOUSLY: Send us a PRIVATE message with your story. Jachree00. My career went to shit, my dp carried on as if baby hadn't arrived. “I regret having children because my life stopped. You can wing a pizza recipe in the moment and say you tried your best, but you can't undo years of poor parenting by all of a sudden trying your best to be a good parent. “It’s completely normal to feel anxious or uncertain about making permanent life decisions,” Strong said. June 10, 2022 ·. First, if you had sex you often had no choice; sex made babies pretty reliably. So no way they’re going to allow themselves to regret it. Like others have said, maternal regret is very complex. Key points. I worked as a therapist for autistic kids and in all my life I've never met humans who had zero life or sparkle in their eyes. fucking. But man when those little fuckers hug you tight, tell you they love you or you realize just how they're turning into real people rather than screaming, poop monsters it's all so. " Not "people who don't have kids and can't decide if they should or not. Emotionally, a loving family as you grew up might want you want to have the same. Although I never really hated the thought of having kids in my life, I never actually WANTED to have them (like I really said "yes I want kids now") I'm married to my husband (M/28) for six years now and I Some people regret not having kids. very. University of Michigan's Health and Retirement Study revealed that, in 2016, 18% of people in their 50s have never had children; neither did 15% of people in I regret not spending more time with my kids. Mariella Frostrup says they need to be clear on the reasons behind their decision. The end. Nov 16, 2023 · For some, it can be tough to know whether you will regret not having kids, but here are some things to consider as you navigate this decision-making process. They are the best thing that ever happened to me. ”. It’s a yikes from me. Feb 16, 2024 · Parents might regret having kids due to a loss of independence or high childcare costs. The answer was a resounding "no," with money being a primary factor. Reddit. Oct 31, 2022 · MaverickSnoopy · 31/10/2022 06:30. The Friends star explained that she now has “zero regrets” that “the ship has sailed” on having kids But if you're in your 50s with two young kids, you must have reached 40-45 before getting kids. Saying that having children is honestly the only thing I don't regret in my life, however pretty much everything else I would change or do completely differently. “What we want to prevent is anxiety getting in the For me, this is a question of morals. Aug 9, 2022 · Here's 3 stories from I regret having children facebook page! I think it's so important to get stories of parental regret out in to the world. Parents across the world slammed Jun 14, 2019 · Confession: I Regret Having Children. Or rather, "you CAN be happy" Some people are just miserable, kids or no kids. I was a young mother with no guidance. In 2019, American author Sam Roberts tweeted that he and his wife regretted having their son. Regretting the choice to have or not have kids is to regret one of the biggest decisions in your life. It's so wrong. I resented having the first so much it took me 4 years to get over the lose of my life and have another one. Meanwhile there are people with no regret, not because they enjoy parenting so much, but because they I Regret Having Children. 46 percent kept The issue I have is with my husband and not the kids. It’s a heavy duty! And it alters the whole course of your life. worth it. I look at parents with 2 kids and feel a little jealous. In none of these studies did the researchers attempt a detailed examination of this group of parents from the perspective of their psychological functioning. I try and prepare her, support her by saving as much as I can for her (less than 30 GBP per month but ok, it’s all I can afford) to help her in future. By Gail May 3, 2022 · Women share their reasons and coping mechanisms for regretting having children in a Reddit thread. Aug 31, 2021 · The Two Reasons Parents Regret Having Kids. What strikes me reading the article is that the parents that seem most prone to regret are the ones who feel the strongest sense of obligation to raise their kids the right way. I didn't want them. 2 percent regretted getting a tattoo, and 7 percent regretted having children — still exponentially lower than the rate of regret for gender-affirming surgery. Guess what DOES NOT exist on Facebook Controversial. Q&A. Jun 28, 2017 · Here’s what some regretful parents of Reddit had to say about having kids: 1. The demographic data I have (from 83 participants) so far skews Western, but is fascinating regardless. Period. It’s a lot of hard work that can absolutely break you. I think the reget is less about the existence of children themselves, but about what overall relationships they did or didn't have because of how they lived their day to day lives. 7 million kids. Their kids were horrible, too, due to bad Dec 9, 2020 · Childlessness Norms Have Shifted. There's only one answer to that from me: No. Downsize if you have to. This is higher than the proportion in many other countries. " Inherently, the people here are probably going to suggest that you NOT have children, so no need to ask. "I have custody of my brother's kids. It will depend on the age gap between your children, but Kids are everything you know them to be: expensive, time consuming, frustrating, argumentative, emotional, etc. I remember having 2 kids and everything was just easier, I could take them places on my own, we could visit friends and family, just everything was more peaceful Mar 4, 2023 · If you regret having your kids, you only have these three choices: 1. Commence the “you’re a horrible, selfish person” narrative. I have three children. The whole family can suffer as a result. Oct 31, 2023 · When a client says they feel rushed to have kids, Kim Strong, a licensed clinical social worker at The Connective in San Francisco, always tries to normalize the person’s anxiety. Yep, here from the future. Posted October 30, 2023 | Reviewed by Monica Vilhauer. My husband isn't the sort of father I expected him to be. Studies in the past yielded similar results in Germany, Poland, and the US. Having 3 children can be exhausting. Avoid toxic people all you can. I (F/26) am a mother of two children (M/4 and F/2). The places with poor record keeping are exactly that. Second, children were Social Security for your old age. As you might have guessed from the title, it’s not the most uplifting read. Needless to say said couple is currently divorcing. 59,109 likes · 407 talking about this. Aug 15, 2021 · Ducksurprise · 31/08/2021 20:12. It is, unsurprisingly, a challenge to get solid data on the number of parents who regret having children. Yet in a recent Gallup poll, 7% of parents in the United States reported You do things for your family, whom you love. I turned 40 six months ago and for most of my life, I was indifferent about having kids. Mar 29, 2024 · DINKs showing off their splurging and traveling gave me FOMO, but I don't regret having kids. Mar 11, 2021 · 2. One woman said, "I don't regret having children. Reply reply. In 1975, the popular advice columnist Ann Landers asked her readers if, given the chance Jul 21, 2021 · The results obtained show that the percentage of parents who regret parenthood is higher in Poland than in the US or Germany, and that parents who regret having children are characterized by a higher level of adverse childhood experiences, have poorer psychological and somatic health, are more vulnerable to social evaluation, and experience ADMIN MOD. To feel differently is almost In pushing the boundaries of accepted maternal response, women are challenging an explosive taboo—and reframing motherhood in the process. You don't regret having children though, you more likely regret falling into the "house and things" cycle that you have to overwork to pay for. Parents aren’t supposed to feel that way, right? Well, while most parents don’t usually feel that way—or don’t feel that way for enduring periods—it’s not a totally uncommon phenomenon. Nov 20, 2023 · We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. I did have a few years of regretting having these children with that Kids are everything you know them to be: expensive, time consuming, frustrating, argumentative, emotional, etc. In the present article, two studies based on large Facebook group called “I Regret Having Children”. Not having my own kids enables me to help with other people’s kids (including / especially ND kids), AND I also get to take care of Feb 16, 2024 · About one in 12 parents say they regret having children, according to a 2021 YouGov UK study. Jul 16, 2018 · Some folks stated plainly that they wish they hadn’t had kids at all. Change your way of life so that you can be happy. I do not regret having kids but I am happy that I waited until I was older. A small but significant proportion of mothers and fathers wish they’d never had children. This may mean that you leave entirely and the child is How have you navigated this? Life. The stat accounts for roughly 84% of children in the world. The only thing that comforts me is that if I had a kid, he might have ended up like me which I wouldn't wish on anyone. Feeling Like You Can Give Attention to All Your Children. Having children should be a conscious decision that you spend months, if not years, thinking about, preparing for, educating yourself on, etc. S. Apr 28, 2022 · I regret having children because of what’s going on in the world. How many of you regret having children? My BIL's (brother in law's) wife is so unhappy and you can tell she really regrets having had children. Oct 30, 2023 · How Many Parents Ever Regret Having Kids? and why it doesn't make them bad parents. Y'all. Off topic posts will be removed. It was a terrible mistake. Now that I’m single with no kids (she had two children), I find myself in a void at home. And this opened up a very important discussion about motherhood in general. Two boys. Feb 8, 2022 · 2. Yes, I have lots of friends, hobbies, great job, and a good social life, but on a deeper level, I feel a void for not being a parent. Sep 27, 2023 · While most Americans won't say they regret having the number of children they have, their thoughts on what is ideal rarely matches their own family's size, a new survey from Gallup found. Rambunctious, loud, happy. I do not judge anyone who regrets having had children. Most of the time I regret having 3 kids Now don't get me wrong I love all my kids (1f,3f,5f) but it is just constant chaos. But I think I’m definitely primed and ready for a kick-ass mid-life crisis… Dec 9, 2022 · A Redditor was curious to find out from women who regret becoming mothers why they feel that way. I often regret having kids with my husband, but I don't regret having the kids. Now I can see why some people stay single forever and never have children. Award. They’re ungrateful; even though they turned out great, I could’ve let them stay out of the atmosphere. I’m in my 40’s and i’m so relieved for that. And now you can't even enjoy it. Kids are not accessories to fix things in your life. The answer is no. If you have a kid with any sort of issues, that task would probably be unbearable, I imagine. When American parents older than 45 were asked in a 2013 Gallup poll how many kids they would have if they Parents might regret having kids due to a loss of independence or high childcare costs. Mar 29, 2024, 2:00 AM PDT. But yes, friendships are important. The ONLY time to have a child is if the news of a pregnancy is a welcome one - or at least, a tolerable surprise. Despite this, he's a great kid with a big heart. Nov 9, 2022 · Jennifer Aniston Shares Her “Challenging Road” with IVF and Trying to Get Pregnant. with four kids, and we are all crammed into a house with lots of stuff and a big dog For one parent, the U. The top regret of old people are not cultivating relationships. If I regret having kids, I, the kid (s), maybe the father and/or maybe our extended families will have to live with it. big family. You can leave. I honestly love my kids, I’ll always be here for them and take care of them, but I do regret having them, I never wanted kids, never wanted to get married but here I am with a wife and kids, I did it because it’s what people do. To make you feel better you might adopt or donate to children's relief programs or whatever. Yes, life is chaotic as a. These studies align with what I've found in my personal life: While most parents don’t regret having kids, some do. •. A 2016 paper Sep 2, 2022 · The idea that a parent might regret having kids is a concept that is cloaked in shame. Of course if you ask parents of young children, they are absolutely mourning their former lives. Now (age 52) I have zero regrets over not having kids. In December 2023, a study by researchers. When Probably regret for a loss in certain freedoms, lifestyle and increased responsibility. . You lose your identity, you lose your Not quite what you asked, but… late-diagnosed autistic female here, always felt that I DID want to have kids, but never actually went through with it. Quote. I have no regrets now, and I’m not concerned for the future. I deeply regret having children and hate them more than anything. ADMIN MOD. I wake up every day and am thankful I have peace in my home. And of course they do; they feel alone in it. But I regret that I had children. you will not regret the child that wants nothing to do with you, the drug addict that takes from you, the abusive spouse of a child that coerces your child into having nothing to do with you. My brother's kids are not as well behaved as my children. So what kept you young is not having kids for the first 40-45 years of your life. In terms of coping I try and do my bit, to make society better for her generation, but I know it won’t be. Work less. My biological clock ticked briefly during my 20’s, and stopped when I hit 30. Apr 22, 2023 · We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. It's a stigma in our society to openly regret the decision to become a parent, but it should be viewed without judgement just like other things people regret. He's happy and healthy, loves us and loves school. Take care of yourself. TIL that there is a Facebook group called “I Regret Having Children” that has 22,000 page followers/likes. What's if like from the other side? Nov 9, 2022 · Jennifer Aniston said in a new interview she has "zero regrets" after going through in vitro fertilization, all while coping with intense media scrutiny about whether she wanted to have children. “What we want to prevent is anxiety getting in the Do you regret having kids? There were some recent posts asking if Redditors regret not having kids. A lot of times maternal regret is wrapped up in identity, caregiver fatigue, and socio-cultural conditions (so yes, patriarchy is included in that). I regret making the decision to have a child, but not the child itself. I’ve met a few people that regret having kids but they’re also the people that will gush online about how much they love their kids and parenting is the hardest job but it’s worth it. It makes me regret not having more kids, at least another baby or two. My parents didn't really like being parents and as a result I did not enjoy being a kid. It’s utterly exhausting. May 5, 2016 · Feelings of regret among mothers aren't just culturally taboo—they're also incredibly rare, according to one study conducted by the US Department of Health and Human Services between 2002 and Jan 4, 2022 · The social pressure. I imagine that I would have ruined it for my kids, too. If you regret being childfree you are in pain by yourself. I am now 11 years later and a mother of three at a point of acceptance. The topic for the sub is "people who are parents and regret it. I've really struggled and have pushed on through to my detriment, only now on anxiety tablets and with all sorts of stress related health problems. But I wish I had never had them. If done properly, it is a massive undertaking, and that's with good kids. Never ever have I regretted having children; my only regret is not having more than 2. People used to have children for several practical reasons, and one emotional one. Old. And in 2023, a study estimated that up to 5% to 14% of parents in so-called developed countries, including the United States, regret their decision to have children. A team of researchers noted that Apr 3, 2018 · The mothers who regret having children. Time magazine has a piece on “the parents who regret having their children. Almost every one of the people who told me they regretted having kids (either now or at some point previously) said that they felt terrible for feeling that way. I feel for her because she's always out and throws the responsibility of care on her husband and inlaws, so everyone judges her for not being "motherly enough" but I feel that she is just Having a kid is probably my biggest life regret: ‘Wife concurs’. Previous, smaller studies indicate that 7-8 per cent of parents in the United States and Germany regret having children. Don't be concerned what other people think - having kids is a huge life changer and you have to be comfortable (and live) with your decision. Controversial. This can lead you to feel guilty about not giving attention to all of your kids equally, especially if you’re giving more attention to a newborn. Which is to say that the remaining percentage don't have a statistic listed and a huge part of that is sheer lack of record keeping. Make sure to leave out any identifying information, and Jul 21, 2021 · Surveys conducted over the last few years on representative samples in the US and Germany suggest that the percentage of parents who regret having children is approximately 17–8%. Most parents will acknowledge that children are hard work, but are likely to say the rewards outweigh the challenges. Okay well, worldwide, it's about 2. ds kk zr ts th uj yh qa ow by